gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
