if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
