I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
