we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
