No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
