I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the day after is always just damage control
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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