Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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