That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I didn't notice because vodka
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
