I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize