if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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