we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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