he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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