Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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