Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
