I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My ass is underappreciated
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
