i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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