I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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