i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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