I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
