So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This is my life. Enjoy the view
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
