Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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