i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
