I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
