hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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