I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
