don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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