You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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