I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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