Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
