If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
