he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
