Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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