i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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