thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
