Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
