Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
