sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
