just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
