She's JV to your varsity
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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