tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
