He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
God I need to hump something, right now.
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