it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
