the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
