Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
