This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
