I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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