Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
