She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
