There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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