So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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