no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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