He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
