I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
