How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
