She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
