Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
