she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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