So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
