Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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