He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
