Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
