Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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