I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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