I smell stomach acid.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
