I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
