The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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