My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
