"it" just moved
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
