Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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