Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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