Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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