Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
